Recently, the Christian failures in Oklahoma have decreed that the bible must be studied in all classes in public schools. Now, in the spirit of helpfulness, us atheists need to help these poor folks who haven’t read their bible at all and have little idea what it actually contains. BTW, a bunch of memes at the end.
Title: The Christian Bible – Genesis and Exodus (oh dear, which version?)
Overview
Students will:
• Develop skills needed to respond to inferential and critical questions when reading
• Utilize works of literature as springboards to writing
• Develop vocabulary Develop oral and written skills
• Compare and contrast Christian mythology to other stories
• Practice writing for a variety of purposes and audiences
• Identify elements of Christian mythology in popular culture, including advertising, humorous writing, fiction, and product identification
Materials
• KWL Chart printable (what I know, what I want to know, what I learned)
• Bible (again which version?)
• World map
• Scrapbooking materials
Directions
• Step 1: K-W-L: Use this activity at the beginning of the unit to assess how much students already know about mythology and to determine what they would be interested in learning. At the conclusion of the unit, students work in small groups to generate lists of new understandings about what they have learned.
• Step 2: Understanding Conflict and Resolution: Throughout the first two weeks, students read bible books in class to determine the types of conflicts that occur (e.g., person vs. person, person vs. nature, etc.) and how these conflicts are resolved.
• Step 3: Word Maps: Students plot word maps to help facilitate their understanding of new vocabulary encountered during the unit. Word maps contain definitions, synonyms, sentences using the word correctly, and illustrations.
• Step 4: Punctuation Review: Students are presented with a conversation between two mythological characters from which all punctuation has been removed. Students work with a partner to punctuate the conversation correctly and then compare their version with the original.
• Step 5: Predictions: Students discuss the name of the mythological character and make predictions about the character in the myth. As they read, students continue to make predictions and confirm or reject those predictions.
• Step 6: Analysis: After reading the story of the magical flood, students determine what magically occurring phenomena are ridiculously claimed.
• Step 7: Descriptive Writing: Students brainstorm words that describe floods and drowning and then write a descriptive paragraph of what a little girl thinks when she is drowning in the magical flood.
• Step 8: Class Debates: After reading the myth about creation, divide students into two groups. One group supports the first version. The other group supports the second. Students must use evidence and sound reasoning to support their positions.
• Step 9: Collaborative Writing Project: After reading the myths of creation, students begin a class book entitled, “How the creation stories don’t follow reality”. All members of the class, including the teacher, contribute to the book.
• Step 10: Reader’s Theater: Students will work in groups to adapt mythological stories using a Reader’s Theater format and then present their adaptations to the rest of the class. Suggested stories are the snake telling the truth to Eve and Eve getting morality for humans, Moses whining about being chosen as leader, deaths of the first born in Egypt, the Israelites wandering around pointlessly for 40 years.
• Step 11: Newspaper Article: Students study the differences in author’s style and purpose for newspaper writing vs. fiction. Then they identify the basic facts of the 10 plagues (who, what, when, where, why, and how) and convert the information into an effective newspaper article.
• Step 12: Review Game: What’s My Line? Students generate five sentences true and false sentences about this god. Divide students into two teams to play the game. Each player reads his or her sentences, one at a time, to the opposing team to see how few sentences it takes for that team to guess which is true and which is false. This game is used at the end of the unit as a review for the unit test.
• Step 13: Culminating Activity: Students create scrapbooks to demonstrate new knowledge of Christian mythology. The scrapbooks will be displayed in the class museum. Throughout the unit, students participate in learning activities from which they may select items they have created to place in their scrapbooks. For example, if a student’s assigned story is Abraham and Isaac, that student could include a character map of Abraham, foreskins, a drawing of the sacrificial altar, and a creative diary entries from Isaac. Students should participate in the development of a rubric or scoring guide to evaluate the project before they begin their work.
• Evaluation
• Teacher’s observations of student preparedness, student work samples, and participation in group activities.
• Assess Students
Assess Students
• Newspaper article related to the 10 plagues
• Word maps and vocabulary quizzes
• Character chart of how many people the christain god murders in Genesis
• Journal entries
• Oral presentation of the story assigned
• Genesis/Exodus scrapbook
Club Schadenfreude 
If they are going to allow a religion in schools, should they not have to allow them all? Hoo boy that would set their hair on fire!
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