Not So Polite Dinner Conservation – Those magi, and yay, a child is destined to be killed

On the road, over two thousand years ago

Balthasar: hey guys, I was doing up that kid’s astrology chart.

Caspar: what kid’s?

Melchior: You know, that one who is going to be king of the Jews one day, you gave the myrrh.

Caspar: Oh yeah. What about him?

Balthasas: I think we got the wrong one. Damnit, I knew I should have read those Jewish myths more closely. This one is dead in a little over 30 years, tortured to death by the Romans and Jews.   That Jupiter in retrograde is a bitch.

Melchoir: But I did a chart and shows that this kid would be celebrated for millenia.

Caspar: So this god made a kid, had it killed for what this god decreed to happen in the Jewish myths and then people celebrated that? But not the Jews?

Balthasar: (tossing his scroll onto the camp fire) This stuff is such crap. When we get home, I’m just sticking with observation and experimentation.

/satire

On our road trip to see family this weekend, my husband noted that it was really weird to have a big winter celebration in honor of the birth of a child that was decreed to die in a few decades because of its father needing a death to make itself happy for something it did intentionally thousands of years before.

Of course, the story about the magi is yet another time when the bible shows its failure in making any sense. The magi go into a house, not a stable or manger. Per the story, the kid was around two years old, since Herod supposedly had a massacre of children of that age (no evidence for this either). The eastern orthodox churches have up to 12 magi (which makes me think of the scene in The Life of Brian when the roman soldiers are filing in and out of the hide out of the People’s Front of Judea) visiting which would just be funny.

 

And of course the actual scene with the magi:

Being happy about a birth that only leads to death and misery required by a god though the actions of its supposed archenemy for no reason is a greedy sadist’s act.

It’s a lot more coherent to celebrate the sun’s warmth, the turning of the seasons and the best things in life: food, drink and the people you love in your life.

9 thoughts on “Not So Polite Dinner Conservation – Those magi, and yay, a child is destined to be killed

  1. I wonder.
    Do the folks who do the decorating understand the statement they make when a cross is part of the Nativity Scene or other Christian (birth day, story, advent) Christmas display? This seems to happen more these days.
    If the first coming was today, would they include three hypodermic needles, an electric chair, or (in Utah) a rifle of some kind?
    “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal” by C. Moore at least tries to keep the story light.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. most christians in my experience think very little. adding that cross, which is indeed being more common, shows that they have no idea what their religion is about.

      I guess its the need to feel like martyrs that most Christians evince that led them to use the torture device rather than the lamb or the fish.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Christmas is about a story of a god that needs a blood sacrifice to itself for what it failed to do in Eden. It either allowed in the serpent or was too stupid to keep it out. Then this second most powerful being in the universe was allowed to get to two completely naïve humans who did exactly what this god would know they would do (being omniscient and all). Then this god takes a tantrum and kicks them out, and repeatedly fails to correct its mistake for millennia. Finally, we have a child born by a god and human, and the only way this god will be happy is by needing its archenemy to get itself/its son murdered by torture.

    Like

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