Not So Polite Dinner Conversation – that talking ass

hmm, “write boldly” is on a Christian website that is afraid of allowing comments to appear with their nonsense.  I guess they can’t “defend” nonsense boldly.

this is doing to be a fun one.  Christians often don’t like when non-Christians make fun of how idiotic their bible is, and how much it is like any other set of myths from the bronze/iron ages.  

This particular Christian, “Pastor Ricky”, a Lutheran, is upset about the talking donkey: 

Numbers 22:22-41 is an account atheists love to bring up to “prove” Christianity is false. They take this account of Balaam and his donkey and say, “So you believe animals can talk?” As usual, this is a trick question. First, it’s not so farfetched that animals can talk. Some birds like parakeets can clearly mimic human speech. I’ve seen videos of dogs “saying” something that closely resembles, “I love you” (which is rather adorable). “

Some animals can, but donkeys physically can’t.   So, his first whine fails.  BTW, snakes can’t talk either. 

“Secondly, verse 28 says, “Then the LORD opened the mouth of the donkey.” God is the one giving the donkey the ability to speak here.”

Yep, it does.  So the bible claims magic works, and no evidence for this claim at all.   

This story is ridiculous.  There’s a guy, Balak, who is upset that the Israelites are bothering people during their imaginary exodus.  Then this guy summons some guy, Balam, to “curse” the Israelites. Balam seems to be a guy who chats with this god.  Balam for some reason, has no idea who the Israelites are.  Balam refuses Balak.

Balak sends better people to ask him and more stuff, but Balam still refuses.  Then, this god tells Balam to go with them, but this time to only do what God says.  Amazing, a supposedly unchanging god changes his mind.    

Then, even better, God becomes pissed off at Balam for doing what God wanted.  God sends and angel to bother the donkey balam is riding on, so the donkey is beaten for no fault of its own.  Then this god makes the donkey talk asking why it is being hurt.  This dialogue also makes little sense. 

Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and it said to Balaam, ‘What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?’ 29 Balaam said to the donkey, ‘Because you have made a fool of me! I wish I had a sword in my hand! I would kill you right now!’ 30 But the donkey said to Balaam, ‘Am I not your donkey, which you have ridden all your life to this day? Have I been in the habit of treating you in this way?’ And he said, ‘No.’”

Then the angels reveals he’s been tormenting the donkey because it wouldn’t go where he wanted, and where this god said for him to go.  The angels says he would have killed Balam if he hadn’t turned around.  Then the angel says don’t turn around and repeats what this idiot god said, “go but do only what I say”. 

So, the donkey was hurt for no reason at all except for these idiots. 

“If the atheist is willing to admit, for the sake of argument, that God, being the Creator of the entire universe, can do literally whatever He wants with His creation—even giving an animal the ability to speak human language clearly—then this account is not so difficult to believe.”

yeah, we don’t agree on the fairy tales of the gullible and the dishonest. 

 “If God can literally create everything simply by speaking, surely He can give an ass the ability to speak. If, evolutionarily speaking, animals like parakeets and dogs can mimic human speech, it’s not that difficult of a concept to wrap your mind around when you simply entertain the possibility that God’s creative sovereignty means He can do literally anything with His creation. That’s what makes Him, you know, God.”

Still a problem, no evidence for this nonsense at all.  And it’s not evolution in the bible, it’s magic. 

“Taking pride in being scientifically minded and rational people, they are willing to suspend their disbelief when it comes to ridiculous and entertaining science-fiction feats in sci-fi movies and shows, but cannot for a moment suspend unbelief when God does things only He can do. Therefore, when atheists are aware of animals today mimicking human speech and refuse to accept that God does impossible Godlike things because He’s God and use strawmen fallacies like above, they ironically talk out of their own ass.”

Alas, poor Ricky is lying when he thinks that us non-christians literally believe that what movies show are true.  Nope, we just enjoy them.  We have no need to “suspend unbelief” when a Christian comes out with the lie that donkeys can talk, and their god is as stupid as the book makes it out to be.  His god does nothing at all.

And Ricky, mentioning the idiocy of your bible isn’t a strawman fallacy at all.  At least know your logical fallacies before you accuse anyone of using them. 

No wonder Ricky doesn’t allow comments. 

22 thoughts on “Not So Polite Dinner Conversation – that talking ass

  1. Sure, an all-powerful god could make a donkey talk if he wanted to. But when a non-believer is looking at the christian “holy book” and trying to figure out whether it’s a perfect message from a perfect god and a complete guidebook for life, or whether it’s just a book of ancient mythology and folklore from a minor mid-eastern tribe, what do we see? A talking snake, a talking donkey, a man living inside a fish, and a superhero with magic hair. That screams “fairy tales” and not “divine revelation”. A perfect god could create a much better perfect book than that mess.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Some groups of Christians differentiate parts of the book being oral tradition. Or more closely related to myth. Them Accepting different aspects of different storys as myth doesn’t take away from the lessons the Bible has to offer. Myths shape our culture, not just Christian ones. I think it’s ok to believe something different and develop your own myths like Joseph Campbell likes to suggest. Then you don’t have to waste time figuring out why people belive something different from you because you’ll be too busy making your own mythology work.


    1. Since christians can’t agree on what “lessons” the bible supposedly has to offer, there is no reason to think any of them have any “truth” to offer at all.

      christian myths advocate hate and ignorance, and no one needs those lies.


      1. This would be sound if we lived in a black and white world. The complexities of human life can’t be so easily defined. I respect myths Christian or not. Whether you’d like to admit it or not myths, story telling, fiction or non play an important role in our development as a species. As writers, its important that we find ways to improve our own stories rather than continuously degrade the stories we don’t agree with.


      2. The lies that Christians, and quite a few other religions tell, cause real harm. I have no need to respect such nonsense and a duty to stand against it.

        I haveno problem at all degrading the claims that some humans are worth less than others, that some humans deserve death and worse.

        Not all stories are equal and we can and should get rid of such harmful garbage.


      3. IMO, Jayne … IF a person accepts the bible stories as myths, then your statement has validity. But “most” people believe they are genuine … and therein lies the problem.


  3. They can talk. What about Eeyore, the character in the Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne? He is a pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, atheistic, old grey stuffed donkey. It’s right there in the book. It must be true!


  4. This is more likely historical folklore. I’m thinking the infamous Balaam was so furious he “saw” an angel in the path and put words in the donkey’s mouth. The story’s teaching point is that God’s behind the scenes.


      1. Okay, then a favorite fairytale of mine is the Jesus asserting God’s realm within you and me. He’s there waiting our return.
        The Pharisees (homophone?), were scripture-hounds, thinking they had all the bible answers, yet Jesus said, ‘I’m not there either- come unto ME!’
        Point is, most of us want God inspectable via our senses, yet he’s waiting within. To me “within” is my conscience but maybe that’s presumptuous.


      2. Yep, it’s entirely made up, Arnold, a fairy tale you want to force on me in your need to pretend everyone is really agreeing with you. Hapily, nothing is asserted with in me at all.

        All christians are scripture hounds, you included. It just depends which scripture they desperately demand to be accepted as true. Now, considering how this jesus of yours repeatedly mentions other scriptures, and its every word is considered scripture (though Paul seems to miss it all), you seem to be simply making up your own version of this religion, just like every single other christian.

        Alas, more nonsense with the baseless claim that somehow this god is “within” people. And yep, it is quite hilariously presumptuous to assume that your conscience is some being that you can’t show exists. You also have the problem that everyone’s sonscience doesn’t agree with yours, so your nonsense fails again.


      3. My opinions are mine, and not forced on you or anyone. All of us and our beliefs are unique, and I understand and accept your’s as you.


      4. Unfortunately, your fellow christians don’t listen to you and do their best to force this nonsense on others. As for your beliefs being unique, doesn’t seem so at all. And unique doesn’t mean true.


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