Not So Polite Dinner Conversation – Halloween or when the TrueChristians™ come out of the woodwork

When I was growing up, my favorite holiday was Halloween.  I liked Thanksgiving for the ability to eat as much starch (can you say stuffing, potatoes and homemade noodles all at once?) as I wanted without being scolded and I liked Christmas because I got prezzies, but both were generally miserable otherwise since I don’t like a house full of annoying relatives.  Being the plaid sheep of the family, it was no fun when these people made it their mission in life to get me to stop reading so much. Sigh….. 

The picking out of the costume was highly anticipated.  The first costume I can remember picking out is Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie, in the classic plastic jumpsuit and hard mask you could slash yourself open on.  This being in western PA in the early 70s it was often cold as hell on Halloween and this was worn *over* a snowsuit.  I can also remember wearing one of grandma’s dresses to be “gypsy” and mom’s wedding dress which I didn’t fit in even in 6^th grade.  

I also had to watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!”  At first, it was for Snoopy and the Red Baron. As I got older I of course got the poke at religion with Linus’ wondering if he’s gotten his “pumpkin patch” sincere enough or not.    

Oh yes, I once wore black tights and a black leotard with a furry tail attached to the behind, and similar furry hood with ears to be a black cat.  That was worn to the church Halloween party that my parents were having for the youth group that the church had.  They had the basement of the church done up with scary rooms with a strobe light, etc.  We even did the “pass the gross feeling thing in the dark” game.   

With that attitude toward a holiday by a whole church of Christians, one wonders where the lunatics come from that are sure that Halloween is directly from Satan himself.  Unfortunately, some of those loons are family; my brother and sister-in-law don’t even let the kids go to their public school the day of the Halloween festivities.  You know, they could catch pumpkin cooties or something.  I’m sure it has something to do with SIL’s crazy pastor mother.  She’s the one who still thinks that the end times are a-comin’ and has bass in her pool for the “tribulation”.  

Here’s some recent rantings from one TrueChristian^tm  who is sure that Halloween is evil and of course has to attack people different from her to get her point across.  Linda Harvey is quite a nasty person, being all for bullying as long as her religion is doing it.  You can see just how so here.  She does write for WorldNetDaily, that bastion of intentional lying and appalling willful ignorance.   

She’s an idiot, but it’s always amusing to make fun of those who bring such ridicule down on themselves.  Let’s look at some of her claims, shall we? 

“Christians don’t need to cower in fear of the demonic realm and all its mischief, nor be overly pre-occupied, but neither are we to mock and scoff and cavalierly enter Satan’s territory dismissing the danger.”

Ah yes, they want to gin up this fear but oh, it isn’t really important since they are magically protected.  Please dear Ms. Harvey, do decide which claims you want to make. Do you need to be afraid of the bogeyman or not?  

“We are especially not to enable our children to do so. Another reason for skipping Halloween is its growing influence. It’s now the second most popular American celebration right behind Christmas, what’s driving its magnetism? Spiritual deception on a grand scale may be at work and such trends call for heightened Christian discernment.”

And of course, Ms. Harvey is the one to go to for “heightened Christian discernment”.  🙂  Always nice to see that one more Christian is sure that she has the only right answers.  How “humble”.  Of course, she has to hedge her claims, since someone like me would ask “so, show me this magical “spiritual deception”?  Her whining about something other than her and her version of her religion getting any attention is quite the display of jealousy.  

“We all can see it’s a huge celebration in the LGBT world, especially for the gender-confused folks. This illustrates some of the problem. The core of Halloween is glittering artificiality, you can pretend to be someone you aren’t’ for a night, you can flirt with danger, you can divine a different destiny, but it is all void of the presence of or will of God. It’s a seduction that says, ‘don’t be afraid, do whatever you want, there’s nothing to fear,’ it’s one of Satan’s oldest tricks.”

Oh, OF COURSE, she has to say that it must be the fault of the LGBT community. Ms. Harvey is known for her fear and hatred of those who dare to not obey her and her proclamations for her god as well as her lies about others who dare to stand up to her baseless nonsense and expose it.   And considering that TrueChristians^tm insist that their god is everywhere controlling everything, how can a holiday keep this god from doing what TrueChristians^tm claim it can?  Golly, humans wearing costumes can be so powerful against this god?  Whodathunk?  And the only way that TrueChristians^tm  can have any protection is to run away from piles of Reeses Cups and Twizzlers and hide in their houses?  I think I’d find a better god.    

“Costume parties are fun but these costumes may even disguise our very souls.” 

Wow, really?  Always good to read totally baseless claims that do the extra silliness of making this god seem even *more* ridiculous.  Just so you know folks,  dressing up like a fireman will damn you to hell since a god can’t recognize you in that spiffy red hat. My dad dressed up as a woman a couple of times for Halloween; I’m sure that this god has no idea who he was. 😀 

“Most Christians with a sincere faith acknowledge that there is a demonic realm and that Satan and his minions are at work in the world to deceive humans, so why wouldn’t Halloween provide an extremely useful too. Mixed in with the fun and games are frightening and disturbing experiences that may leave some children with nightmares. Then there is the flirtation with occult practices that are forbidden in Deuteronomy 18:10-12 and elsewhere, Christians aren’t supposed to be consulting fortune tellers, Ouija boards or palm readers about our future but all are frequently a part of Halloween festivities. ‘But it’s just for fun,’ parents will say, ‘God understands my children are not serious.’ Really? Do your kids know how risky these practices are and that real contact with real demons is quite possible. Satan doesn’t care about our intentions; he will take any willing participant.” 

Here we go, I knew that word would turn up eventually.  You see, dear readers, only SINCERE Christians need apply and only Ms. Harvey knows who they are.  If you don’t agree with her, you “obviously” aren’t a True Christian.   Your pumpkin patch isn’t sincere enough for Linda, so out you go. 

She also cites how much of a no-no it is to “flirt” with occult practices, Deuteronomy 18.  Let’s see what that says: 

“⁹ When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. ¹⁰ Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, ¹¹ or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. ¹² Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you. ¹³ You must be blameless before the Lord your God.”

This is a very nice excuse for genocide in the bible and as always no evidence for any of these things actually being real at all.  But let’s look at other verses from the bible. I wonder, does Ms. Harvey know these ones right in Deut itself?

²¹ You may say to yourselves, “How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the Lord?” ²² If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.” 

Hmmm, has Ms. Harvey spoken out against the Christians who have made repeated claims that don’t take place or come true?  Of course not. She has made some predictions herself, that the AIDS epidemic will increase because of allowing HIV positive people to travel,  that LGBT inclusive education leads to abuse, etc and those claims by her have failed to come true too.  Should she be stoned to death?  Well, yes, Deuteronomy 18:20 says exactly that. 

Ms. Harvey, like so many theists, picks and chooses from her holy book.  She wants people to obey Deuternomy 18:10-12, but I wonder does she follow these other commandments in Deuteronomy just as faithfully?

“Deuteronomy 13:⁶ If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known, ⁷ gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), ⁸ do not yield to them or listen to them. Show them no pity. Do not spare them or shield them. ⁹ You must certainly put them to death. Your hand must be the first in putting them to death, and then the hands of all the people. ¹⁰ Stone them to death, because they tried to turn you away from the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”

How many family members has Ms. Harvey killed in her righteous indignation? Or is it too inconvenient, in the United States where secular law would put her in prison?

 “Deut 17:² If a man or woman living among you in one of the towns the Lord gives you is found doing evil in the eyes of the Lord your God in violation of his covenant, ³ and contrary to my command has worshiped other gods, bowing down to them or to the sun or the moon or the stars in the sky, ⁴ and this has been brought to your attention, then you must investigate it thoroughly. If it is true and it has been proved that this detestable thing has been done in Israel, ⁵ take the man or woman who has done this evil deed to your city gate and stone that person to death. ⁶ On the testimony of two or three witnesses a person is to be put to death, but no one is to be put to death on the testimony of only one witness. ⁷ The hands of the witnesses must be the first in putting that person to death, and then the hands of all the people. You must purge the evil from among you.

Any strangers killed by Ms. Harvey?  Again with that inconvenience excuse? Tsk. 

Deuternomy 22, where it has all of the great things about murdering adulterers, and making rape victims marry their rapists and never being able to get divorced from them.  

Deut 23 where those who have suffered injury to their penis or testicles are to be kept out of the “lord’s congregation”.  Does Linda make sure those guys aren’t in her congregation?  Kilt check!

And of course all of the great laws from Exodus and Leviticus.  I’m sure Ms. Harvey is all about the commandments but I’m sure she thinks she can choose the ones her god “really” meant.  I’m guessing she doesn’t follow Leviticus 19: Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. That poly-cotton blend is just right out! Or that she has to go away from men when she’s menstruating.  Hmmm, I wonder how many times she goes to the mall on the “Sabbath”, whenever that is, since even Christians can’t agree.

Of course, she may be that crazy, following every last commandmenet.  But I can be pretty comfortable she’s just one more hypocrite, creating a religion for her hateful self. I mean, really, look at that cut hair!  Directly against her god per 1 Corinthians 11. And indeed thinking she can teach men by telling them they should listen to her?  Yep, right against that god of hers, 1 Timothy 2.   Shucks, Linda, with this, hell will be full up with TrueChristians^tmand not a seat to be had by an honest atheist.    

Finally, Ms. Harvey is all about the demons. 

‘God understands my children are not serious.’ Really? Do your kids know how risky these practices are and that real contact with real demons is quite possible. Satan doesn’t care about our intentions; he will take any willing participant.””

Seems that Ms. Harvey isn’t sure what her god might actually be able to know.  And she’s very sure that demons are real.  So, Linda, show me this “real contact with real demons” is possible.  You know, I’ve done most of the things that TCs are sure will make demons appear. I have an Ouija board and played with it.  I’ve played Dungeons and Dragons for decades.  I have a couple decks of tarot cards.  I have had friends do my astrology charts.  And no demons have ever shown themselves. Alas, I never got the “real” spells in D&D (if I had, rush hour would be a whole new experience  🙂  )  I’ve even read the first Harry Potter book (meh, if you ask me) and still no demons.  No, Ms. Harvey, nothing has happened, the same nothing that happens when you pray.  Of course, Ms. Harvey will continue with her silliness, sure that magical things happen and sure that if she eats a Halal slaughtered turkey she become an automatic Muslim or something. 

Poor Ms. Harvey.  All her personal religion is built on fear and greed, hatred and ignorance.  Now, I know she gets in a snit about bloggers showing how ridiculous she is, so I will advise her to try another useless but popular things that  TrueChristians^tm evidently do.  Imprecatory prayer has become the new thing for them when not getting their way.  It’s been threatened to be used against Mikey Weinstein of the MRFF, and I’m more than happy to volunteer for some spittle lashed prayers to becoming my way too.   Try Psalm 109 and get your jollies with your fantasies about people who don’t agree with you being harmed.   Not exactly something that makes me want to run out and reconvert to Christianity again. 

Now go out, get a great costume and stuff yourself on KitKats and Snickers.  For me, preferably the martini variety.