Not So Polite Dinner Conversation – religious tv – yes, you knew it was going to be awful

093-Faith-Plate-Tectonics-650x406Here’s a pair of reviews of the tv shows I’ve mentioned in earlier blog posts.

The “History” channel has a “docudrama” called Revelation: End of Days. I briefly mentioned it here. Oh my, the nonsense.   I fast forwarded through most of this unadulterated piece of shakey cam crap. Here’s a bit of a stream of consciousness review of it. Below is my review of the exodus show. Oy, the pain I put myself through.  🙂

Let’s see, “they” are killing all of the sick and elderly. “They” evidently are piling up garbage in orderly piles, but the film makers are trying to make it look apocalyptic.

Oh yes, there is a lots of film from a real disaster, Hurricane Katrina. There is a “Christian terror group” called the red eagles, which are of course made out to be the heroes against the “dictatorship”. They were in Coudersport, PA. Coudersport is a lovely victorian era town, built when lumber was king in northern PA. Weirdly enough, Wikipedia has that it has a huge freemason following there. Conspiracy theorists, mount up!

Seems like things got rundown and apocalyptic in a few months. Of course reporter dude can wander in anywhere and no one is on guard or afraid of unknown people.

It also has lots of unbiblical stuff that is claimed to be in the bible. Such bad cgi, with big brother tv screens placed in actual crowd footage since these poor bastards couldn’t afford real actors or extras and had to steal footage of anything they could get their hands on. Evidently the final trumps sound like whales and Jesus disintegrates cameramen for no good reason. Perhaps he was “raptured” but it’s odd that God doesn’t need tv cameras but does need clothes and shoes. I guess we can’t be nekkid in heaven?  🙂

It was about 180 minutes and about 1 hour of that was ads. It was pretty much idiots feeding on other idiots, using the stolen footage of the death and misery of real people to do it. It has to be the stupidest, most poisonous thing I’ve seen in a very long time, the Left Behind crap notwithstanding.

Now for Suviving Exodus, on the Discovery Channel. This was ginned up trying to ride the coattails of the Exodus movie. It seems to be mostly how one survives the ten plagues. I do hope the fellow who is doing the reporting isn’t a first born child. They have a number of the usual hosts and experts on this show, poor things probably didn’t notice that blurb in their contracts.

The plague of frogs is pretty hilarious. One of the hosts in in bed with frogs. We get a little eco lecture that frogs are a warning of disaster. The flies are sort of gross, since they stuffed a milkshake full of them.

Boils are nasty, especially since it surely does have a lot of collateral damage. Yep, make the kids suffer for the actions of this god.

Hail is next. They have a guy in a manufactured hailstorm. That’s rather cool, you did need a helmet.

Now, locusts. The new host is Hakeem Oluseyi, the African-American astrophysist that isn’t Neil DeGrass-Tyson 😉 They have grasshoppers, not the locusts that make noise and come out every 7-14 years. They claim that locusts swarm because they are “angry”. Ah, no. They are hungry. Very cool demonstration of how about 50 locusts can eat a few pans of wheatgrass in two hours. They’re pouring grasshoppers on his head. They do mention that people can, and do eat them, so it does beg the question, why this was such a plague?

Darkeness is next and of course it’s one of the big ones that no one noticed at all, or mentioned.

The murder of the first born is the final one and the show says that the Jews do celebrate this murder every year at Passover.

The show went out of its way to not mention that it was not the pharaoh that was responsible, but this god.   It was gratifying that they showed lots and lots of people leaving Egypt, thanks to movie footage. (though quite a few less than the hundreds of thousands/millions claimed in the bible.)

It’s rather amazing on how dry the bottom of a sea is in this show and evidently in the movie. They show Hakeem walking along the bottom of a pier and try their best to make it seem like it was tidal evacuation that was the crossing of the red sea. But if it were, then we could find likely locations, times, and then all of the detritus of an entire army being destroyed. All of that nifty stuff called physical evidence. There is none. They can’t quite decide if they want the gradual, but inexorable force of a tidal wave, or some surf from California and Hawaii.

Between reshowing parts at the beginning of every section that you saw ten minutes ago, and the ads, there was about 28 minutes of unique footage. Again, more nonsense for the credulous who are desperate for evidence for their religion.

For my review of Exodus the bible book, you can go here.

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6 responses to “Not So Polite Dinner Conversation – religious tv – yes, you knew it was going to be awful

  1. I’m glad you had the stomach for it. I can’t watch much of anything from the H or D channel anymore. The pandering to the the bottom of the barrel idiotic shit is too much for my logical tendencies to suffer.

    If it weren’t for my enjoyment of baseball and football I could cancel my cable tomorrow.

  2. I agree with your assessment of Revelation: End of Days. I couldn’t watch it. They mangled the Biblical narrative. It was just a lot of noise and disjointed film clips with a stupid story line.

    • Well, they kept the basic storyline, but they attributed the events in Revelation to rather hilariously strange causes, which Christians do all of the time.

      I can remember watching such nonsense as The Late Great Planet Earth, which did the same things, those amazingly awful Left Behind movies and finding them utterly bizarre and usually unintentionally funny, even back in the 70s when I watched THLGPE as a kid.

      Revelation is nothing but revenge porn.

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